Maybe it's because all of a sudden my husband is seeing herons all over the place, and I'm seeing red-tailed hawks. Maybe it's all the joking with my friend the penguin, which led me to start joking about emus, and all the flightless birds with wings that don't fly.  Maybe it's because it's spring, and I miss seeing my herons, and I miss living in a place where they hang out, and I feel like a wader out of water.  

Maybe it's part of the whole "life while a house is on the market" thing, which is sort of like being slowly ratcheted up that first hill at the roller coaster, knowing at some point you'll stop ratcheting along noisily, smelling the motor oil and exhaust and sweaty shirt of the guy in front of you (or God forbid sitting next you you) (so glad I married one that farts and snores but doesn't have b.o.) , and then you'll sit at the top for a split second, not actually moving but knowing the movement has to all intents and purposes already started and you're about to go hurtling into the unknown, probably screaming all the way...the house will sell, I know it, we all know it, it's a good house that's competitively priced in a shitty market, but we don't know when and for how much and what we'll be able to find when it's done, and once we do that we have to actually move out of this house that's way too small for 4 people, but which is also the house where my man kissed me on the front porch after our first real date, the house where we spent our wedding night (and a good number of nights before that, okay, fine, so sue me), the house to which we brought home each of our children, our first family Home....and then we'll have to move into another place, and I know that'll be home too...oy, it's just sort of overwhelming. 

And now Emu is hanging out around me.  I have been internetpoking around about Emu, someone I hadn't been all that aware of (the damn thing comes from another hemisphere, after all, along with lots of quasi-imaginary animals like wombats and kiwis--I'm from bloody Chicago.)  Emu sounds like a noisy, inelegant, pushy pain in the ass.  Nonetheless...I sort of like him.  And if he's here, I suppose I have something to learn. So we'll wait and see what happens.

I also, in my search for more emuinfo, came across an LJ dude (dudette? hard to say. love the internet.) who is a fairly amazing artist, deeply "into" animal guide stuff, and seems at first blush of our one-way acquaintance to be either a really amazingly cool fascinating person to know or a complete nut case (in Australia, that would be "looney," I believe).  Or possibly both.  Anyway, I've friended him, I hope she might friend me back, and whether he does or not I'll certainly look forward to her artwork.  His Emu image was completely arresting.

I just gave a glance back at my last few LJ entries.  They are intensely dull and pedestrian.  On the one hand, I want to journal more.  On the other hand, if I can't think of something interesting to say, why bother? 

Just finished Anne Lamott's "Bird by Bird" last night--makes me want to quit my job and be a writer, take away the only real excuses I have for not doing it, namely my day job.  

Ah well...it will all sort out. All will be well and all that.  

I need to start dancing again. I'm becoming a lump, and my muscles are atrophying, and my brain is too.  And I'm tired of coloring in the lines.

Kids aren't napping.  So what else is new.

peace,
J